And texting or seeing other people is ok. Best Bp. He lives 3 hours away. The communication still was lacking so I just moved on. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Hi Why they disappear doesnt matter. and What to Say to Man in Difficult Situations. Then let it/him go. women of a certain age dont like texting. https://datelikeagrownup.com/texting-and-dating-after-40/. We had much better and more clear communication in that manner. Thats my advice. He shows signs through body language and speaking to me differently than others. The way you talk/write, I have no idea what year you live in.) He said he is planning to come here and we could meet up. If hes serious about wanting to see you he will do that to make sure hes reserving your time. He then sent me a few texts that were friendly in nature. Hugs, Bp. Confusing, Tonya, seems to me that its time to start depending on yourself instead of men. I had to move the next week so I cut ties, and he never chased. And about your busyness: if you give that impression to men who are looking for companionship and partnership they will leave. Then, he started acting distant. And that its totally lame. Like I said, when a man doesnt meet you or even talk on the phone, there is a reason. Do not chase this man. I agree with you the the guy only uses text and never offers a date to go out with you.Then for sure he is using the lady as his spare tire. Hi Erin. Its hard to not only accept it but to also acknowledge the fact. I waited until 7pm the next day when I still hadnt heard anything I finally texted him and told him what I was up to that evening and thanked him again for the lovely date. I gave him the benefit of the doubt due to the fact he had two jobs and kids were out of town during the holiday season so trying to schedule a date was difficult. I recently met someone online and have been dirty texting and also been trying to get to know each other. I dont think he is that interested, so why does he bother to text at all? Doesnt matter WHY hes behaving this way; only that he is. We shared everything , or so I thought. He wanted to message me during day I said no as I have to concentrate at work. I met this really great guy online. Bp, Ive had a couple of in person dates and have been asked to meet again on the weekend, he has been texting every couple of days just saying hi etc, Im wondering if its appropriate to Iniate a text occasionally inbetween meeting and him texting. And if he is serious about meeting a woman for a real relationship, he will step up. But you may never know why. But he does want me to chat with his daughter. Fast. I jokingly told him the first time we met that if he didnt leave then he wouldnt miss me (we had already made plans to meet again). I do want to see what his personality is like (i have seen him before but never spoken to him). We belly laughed the whole time, had a TON of stuff in common, great flowing conversation and we were both super attracted to each other. He said he still want to be in contact with me and wanted to meet me once his back in our place. We talked on the phone a few times and he was very clear that he was very interested and wanted to meet asap. Hi, And btw, sounds to me like hes focusing a lot on his career. Bp, I understand about texting and preferring verbal contact. Oke, that might have been Covid, so we had to cancel our date, but he texted he really hoped I still wanted to see him after my skiing trip, which started the next day. After that I didnt hear from him for several days until he began texting and asking questions to get to know me more. He thanked me once by text. He also said that he wants to become best friends with a woman before any commitment. He will reply immediately if I do but I shouldnt be initiating all contact. So if they pulled the 180 without an explanation, definitely bring it up gently. Its a type of falseconnection that sets up incredibly unrealistic assumptions and expectations. Make it simple, and leave it there. The guns was an inside joke and the vibes were for he had something major happening. They can be pretty uncomfortable. Ive read your points and I believe Im falling to option 5 here I met a 55 year old man through an online dating website this situation is a little different for me in the way that hes a widower and new to the dating scene after 25 years of marriage. I said he can call me back after he leaves work, but nothing. I see him maybe once a week, and when we do see each other he is so sweet , he cooks for me, we have nice conversations and we have a great time. And, I nearly feel compelled to do to thee guys what they do to women. Otherwise - ANYTHING could've happened which had little to do with you and if you give him some time and he's still not getting back to you then text him something BESIDES and FAR FROM: asking "how he's been" or "what he's up to" or "where he's been" because those rarely get a real quick response. Like a stranger in work. If this was really the real thing, would I have to wonder??? I am attracted to this guy but I need to know for peace of mind too. I like him a lot, and maybe even see him as a man I could truly love and have a happy life with. He always wants to talk but Im just not sure why he isnt reaching out himself via phone or scheduling dates the way he was when we were in the same city. While dating and getting to know someonenot so much. Well, I started creating that as my reality. He would go off radar in the middle of conversations and on one particular day he txtd me i responded and heard nothing for 14 hours at which point I sent him a txt saying while that behaviour may be ok with some girls it was not with me. We messaged each day and got on really well, we talked about loads of different things from movies to families and even swapped dating stories, it all felt comfortable like wed known each other years. Should I let this go since we are having in person contact? I had an old friend from 38 years ago message me on Facebook. So we start texting and he was texting a lot making me laugh etc. Will It Help You Understand Them Easier? Trying to see if I should reach out to her again or just let her go. A few nights ago, I met a polite nice man in the street who is in his late 30s and had two big dogs. I envision a string of cell phones with girls names taped to them. Weve had futuristic conversations. Sounds like hes interested but youll have to ask him to learn more. I initiated conversation a few times. Thanks for the texting information, just what I needed. Normally Id say to just ask pretty directly, but it sounds like you already know the answer. So, no more of this, for me. we mainly agreed on what we are looking for etc. We are both 52. Now it seems almost impossible to find decent employment for me to get a divorce. If they say that everything is fine, this is the time to speak up for what you want.. What I write in the article gives you my POV on this. Thank you all :D xx, it's worth a try for sure, I think neither of us are big on being on the phone and prefer texting in general. Did I miss something? For instance going to see a concert, doing a race coming up. Please, would you guide me a bit that how to handle this and lead it to an in-person date? I stopped at I feel like Im the one doing the chasing. If thats the case I think you know the answer. THNKS, Hi Sallie. Is there a realistic way you two can actually go deeper and spend time together? Be fooled or duped by a guy who isn't who he claims to be which means the closer he gets to being "found out" the closer you come to a time when he will disappear and cut off his contact with you entirely. I just listened to you webinar on dating divorced men And this is about txting We got to know each other through email and txting before our first date which was great. Meaning - If you've been texting back and forth everyday non-stop with no missed time in between and that pattern abruptly changes then you have cause for alarm. I started talking to a man a few weeks back, he was quick to say lets meet which is what I like. Granted his texting was a bit rough at times and I had to help prod the convo on but this seems like a disinterested reply. He used to respond to all your texts, but now he replies only a couple times a week. Do let him know you consider face-to-face time the best way to get to know each other and that youd like to do that. Nothing about going out, dinner, a hike..just nothing. I rather felt like he is only available and friendly when he wants something and wanted me at his disposal when convenient and that he only pretended he would care. He might be one of those. And you hardly know this guy.dont fall for him so hard that you call him a liar. But it works. The next day he was asking my friend to give me his number and text him. Bobbi, Last weekend I went to visit someone who I have been video chatting with for more than a month. I met a guy on POF and we spoke for about 30 minutes on the phone tonight. 3. He returned and the calls and texts continued for a couple days until i said lets set up a time and day to meet. Now he knows hes good enough, thats all he was looking for. Maybe he was nervous on the date. If he doesnt call you, just move on. Meaning - If you've been texting back and forth everyday non-stop with no missed time in between and that pattern abruptly changes then you have cause for alarm. (wow, very appealing). He just moved to a new town 2 hours from me because he was expecting a new baby with a women that he is not involved with. I texted once a few days after seeing how his day was and he was responsive but it seemed somewhat one-sided. Before you go on. I know looking back I should have added a bit more enthusiasm to my text, but I think chasing it up wouldnt look great at this point. And stay away from these guys who arent yet Grownup. Why should I have to carry the cell phone around my house just in case? I texted back with a time and didnt hear from him until 5 hours later which was around 9:30 and he asked if he was too late. Hi Bp, I met this guy on a dating app. But if there is no actual in-person contact beware! There are thousands more. Bp, I been dating this guy for over two weeks and hes and nice guy and things seemed good with us we had plans for this weekend but he had to work but he hasnt text me back yet now I am not sure what to do. It all felt so fake. Met a guy on an app I hit it off with through texting. Some people are too nice to tell me that. The physical bond is needed but the emotional connection that builds or grows is more important and I firmly believe that is something that MUST happen and does happen when you're out doing things together and learning about each other through any form of dating. 2010 The Thought & Expression Company, LLC. You are on your way to dating like a grownup. Then suddenly there was less and less conversation. Am I making a mistake by not texting her now or making a good decision? About the men, youre just meeting the wrong guys. Take the leap when the outcome is unknown. Im pretty much old school when it comes to dating. Don't Text Him, You Have Nothing to Lose. I am foolish for allowing this to happen arent 9? What should I do, Find someone who is truly interested in getting to know you, Bobbie. Yes, sometimes an online relationship is meaningless, but not always. I cut him off for a couple weeks, and we didnt talk. Move on. Am I asking for too much or should I just go find someone who matches my upbeat personality? Maybe I need patience with single dad ? Btw, I love your web site, it is by far one of the most realistic guy feels site Ive come across. If you are happy when youre with him, and not with him, I say wait and see. Im not opposed to getting to know him better but I find these types of messages annoying when I hardly know the person. I sent you a message a few weeks ago re problems I was having with a guy ive been messaging online..had no reply from you its now been 2 weeks and still no message from him although when I go on the dating site hed logged on a different times but just doesnt message me.please help Im feeling so sad is he just playing games? He seems like an honest, caring and kind guy (we are both 25). If its really that hard to see each other talk on the phone or Skype or something. He was, opposed to the year before, talkative and interested and I enjoyed conversation with him. Texting started off about the presentation and then she additionally mentioned she was at a talent show and that was why it took a while to text back I replied in a joking way inquiring more information and then the conversation became more in depth (nothing about school). Why Can't You Do More Than Text? We were texting every day and had only gone on two dates in the space of two and a half months. Was i supposed to suggest a time or say something about let me know when you are free????? Bp, We have been on several dates from Aug til Sept i didnt see him at all in Oct he has never been to my home and he dosent know where i live and i have never been to his home we meet somewhere and i get in the car with him and we go hang out i dont have tight schedule and he kinder do to we text back and forth daily the day and talk late night on the phone for hours when i try to flirt with him blow me off and i ll to ask him a personal question he will answer it but wont ask me back the question ill give him the answer but sometime im weary about if he really looking for a relationship or just a friendship he never ask me where i live but he does tell me how he appreciate me listening to him at time his text have been pretty dry. If hes stuck in his stuff and seems to not need or want your support or to keep datingmove on to date others. He made an excuse about being too busy with moving but would see what his family were doing and if they had plans and hed get back to me on Friday. Two days after meeting and texting, he asks if Im spontaneous and if I would like to go to his city for the weekend and he can show me around. Ask him what he needs from you right now and respect it. If you want or need to know if it's something you did in all this time then I STRONGLY encourage you to pick up my book: "The Silent Man - Why Men Go Silent, Ignore You, Refuse or Wont Share Their Feelings". should I block him? But, he did start calling as well. Although am pretty sure I know the answer would just like your advice met a guy 45 separated, dated 7 times over 10 months. I didnt ask. 1. Not stepping up, after cancelling the first date. Hi, I really like your post. He knows your number and will contact you if/when hes ready. I proceeded to give him my cell and we starting texting. He says he is from Germany but that he lives in Florida but that he works in Mexico City. But after that we had some chances to meet again. I am in a healthy relationship with a guy whom I started an online conversation with. Hugs, Bp. Here is the way to register for free: https://datelikeagrownup.com/ggno . I feel that we have some connections and mutual feelings. Best. He lives like 3 hours away.. I want to give up but Im also using this time to bring him closer to a Christ like relationship with God. We were looking for someone to have fun with and have a companion. What are you thinking? Bp. Texting has certainly complicated dating and relationships. He saw me at the hair salon, and asked my hairdresser who I was. Why didnt he just say he wasnt interested? fast forward 1 week later, i gave hints that like to meet. He is 40 and been married twice already. He had taught me how to conquer my fear and gain confidence driving in the freeway. He assures me that he wont leave me hanging and wants to meet up soon. I care about him as a person and friend. So we did met was a good first meeting he said I am more more attractive in person we talked for 6 hours we just talked about our self and everything. His job can be dangerous so i left it and left it and then sent him a text saying hope all is ok?..i hear nothing for 3 days.