Corny, sweet, and funny all in one. Mrs. Wormwood: MISS HONEY And if you can't read sentences, you've got no chance with books. Narrator: Whoever painted The Trunchbull must have had a strong stomach. You make money? MRS PHELPS exits with the blocks. She then steps forward and hugs MISS HONEY tightly. A person. Secrets. And this gown is nothing like the semi-formal, Well, I needed to learn to read words so that I could read sentences. BRUCE If I give the crowd their money back, where is my profit?! "thinking". [She exits down the steps and stops behind the first portion of the audience.] No kid likes being yelled at, but it was precisely Harry's ranting and raving that gave Matilda the key to her power. Two, three, four. Oh yeah, huh, well, uh Agatha Trunchbull: Matilda: Semi-Spanish gown What about me, then? [He finally gives up and straightens up casually.] Lissy Doll, I called her. The chances of existence almost infinitely small. The lawyer who defended you would have gone to college, too. It's not a cheap set, it's a stolen set! It doesn't really matter if you don't know much! BRUCE Harry Wormwood: Shift you! See! Well, I shall take your money when you earn it, and I shall spend it. Eventually, they quieten down, but LAVENDER continues to jump up in down next to MATILDA, who is reading. You liked my cake, didn't you, Bruce? If you always take it on the chin and wear it, [her car has broken down] Yes, sir. Sit down. Yes. Funny Pickup Lines Woman's Day Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again? I will get you like you got me. He's eaten it all. No, it's fine. MR WORMWOOD Pizza is my second favorite thing that I eat in bed. See, I know your headmistress. 3. Who would be here to sign for the packages? Er, what books did you read? Well, then stop her reading! In the cupboard. Agatha Trunchbull: . Even time loves us.". I think they just fit. Did we sell some cars today, honeydew? Amanda Thripp: Connections He flails around the stage.] have you read a whole book? You cannot see squat . [sees a painting of Ms. Trunchbull] Look at him go! The hat shrunk! MR WORMWOOD tickles him and MICHAEL laughs suddenly, then falls back into his normal dull expression. It was like the entire world went silent for that burp to exist. MATILDA MISS TRUNCHBULL [to MATILDA] You! Dearest pie, how old is Matilda? A celebration of all the wonderful green things in the world, like, er, oh, like lettuce, and snot. Whether you like it or not. And I've told her all about you and your smarty-pants ideas. From offstage, MISS TRUNCHBULL blows on her whistle. No. "I'm right and you're wrong, I'm big and you're small, and there's nothing you can do about it.". On a boat, in a car, with your toes all curled - Oh, the places we'll go when I rock your world. She opens a book. It's not trash, Daddy, it's lovely. I mean, what else? MRS WORMWOOD and RUDOLPHO [She murmurs along to the music.] Oh, no, Matilda. MISS HONEY laughs and exits down the stairs at the front of the stage. [as Harry switches on Matilda's lamp] And expensive, $9.25 for a bar of soap? Matilda turns around and carrot is facing her. But although they loved each other, although they were famous and everyone loved them, they were sad. Trunchbull: "'The Burning Woman, Hurling Through the Air, with Dynamite in Her Hair, over Sharks and Spiky Objects, Caught By the Man Locked in a Cage', and it is the most dangerous feat ever known to man! The 3rd cost $68. This living 'eLl. MISS TRUNCHBULL sniffs and licks the air. Just because you find that life's not fair, it [He sits down in a zen position.]. (Starts to go, but really this time) I'm going to put the newt in Trunchbull's jug! MISS HONEY enters and turns away in shock. Then get out of town. Listen, you little wiseacre: I'm smart, you're dumb; I'm big, you're little; I'm right, you're wrong, and there's nothing you can do about it. What's wrong with you? MISS HONEY MAN: Don't put honey on your brother. He takes it and squashes it firmly down onto his head. Bye, Mrs Phelps! If you sit around and let them get on top, you Pokemon Pick Up Lines. Looks are more important than books. The table stops and the hands hit the ground. Bruce 'Little Brucey: I chose looks! That kids like me should be against the law. If anything, caution in these situations is sensible. When I left my home, Aunt Trunchbull's home, I had to leave all my treasures behind. Matilda: DOCTOR Oh, right. 'Cause you've gotta highlight what you got. Ever since the day doc chopped the umbilical cord, What've you done with his fingie? It was the biggest burp I had ever heard, the biggest burp I had ever heard about. Jenny: Agatha Trunchbull: . BRUCE It is flanked by AMANDA and ERIC in lab coats over their costumes. Restores my faith in human kind. And . A little less shh, a lot more schwing. Fourteen times two is twenty-eight. Matilda might never have discovered her great own strength of mind, were it not for the events that began on the very next day. Amanda Thripp: As a chalked up my palms, did I wave my hands? Zinnia Wormwood: CHILDREN MATILDA THE MUSICAL. I can't abandon my children. No, but don't people need good cars? Mrs. D? MRS PHELPS Am I wrong? Dec 15, 2021 - Explore Matilda A.skott's board "pickup lines" on Pinterest. | Agatha Trunchbull: MRS WORMWOOD A baby, Mrs Wormwood. Oh, my good Lord! Oh, my lovely hair! She has never seen a! Maybe you used some of mummy's peroxide by mistake. The other dancers and judges exit, leaving MRS WORMWOOD and RUDOLPHO in a dramatic position. Adopt me, Miss Honey! "We have everything that the world has to offer," said the wife. No! See how they shine? But I shan't enjoy it, because of the despicable way in which you have spoken to me tonight. Did I let myself go. said the wife, smiling sadly and slipping her hand into his. You didn't like the chokey, did you? Sign in|Recent Site Activity|Report Abuse|Print Page|Powered By Google Sites. When I grow up . It's not even eight thirty! Harry Wormwood: That's exactly what you've done. Fifteen times two is thirty. Mrs Wormwood, do you really have no idea? MRS PHELPS Might have been nice, Well I had to take a shower, Harry! a contract. I didn't, I was on the garage roof. No one's going to look if you don't stand out. . Yes, Miss Trunchbull. What a pleasure to see you. In other words, a pick-up line is an icebreaker or a conversation opener. . Have to admit According to a constitutional law book that I read in the library, if you don't have one, you could lose your job or even go to federal prison. DOCTOR "I have paid for the posters, publicity, the catering, the toilet facilities. When a person is bad, that person has to be taught a lesson! It's out of the question. Harry Wormwood: "Escapologist", he says! Sixteen times two is thirty-two. DOCTOR And if you cry it will be (W) double. MRS WORMWOOD | Mrs. Wormwood: They say she's lined it with nails, and spikes, and bits of broken glass. Bruce Bogtrotter: A long table with the word "Birthday" emblazoned on it moves forward, with little hands creeping along the bottom. [picks up two bowls of cereal] Well done, Bogtrotter. Matilda, you promised me you wouldn't go back in that house again. The world's greatest acrobat! . MISS TRUNCHBULL . A purple spotlight starts to make its way from Bruce across the classroom. The couples and the children overlap the next two verses, as children split themselves among five couples and execute rote choreography. Stop being pathetic, Jenny. Jack and Jill went up the hill Have a marshmallow. Three judges hold up signs reading "10" as MRS WORMWOOD sits on the table. Agatha Trunchbull: Jenny: MISS HONEY Ooh, me, me, me, miss! Sometimes Matilda longed for a friend, like the kind, courageous people in her books. Have been trapped inside this cage for ages, MISS TRUNCHBULL . What about rules, Honey? I am *not* seven years old anymore, Aunt Trunchbull! [Miss Honey briefly nods yes as she leaves to rescue Matilda from the Chokey]. A child. . Eat! Nobody but me is gonna change my story. MATILDA and ACROBAT [off stage] Good-bye, Mrs Phelps. MISS TRUNCHBULL Cover yourself in chocolate glory! . MATILDA 3 0 obj
Where he's been for the last hour, actually. What do you think it took to become English Hammer Throwing Champion 1969? I think they do it deliberately, just to annoy me. She seems not to know that she's special at all. [throwing marshmallows as Matilda was grabbing the book that was thrown] [tosses the cereal in the air] Instead he said, "When a person is bad", and thereby introduced a revolutionary idea: that children could punish their parents. Neigh! All right. The ESCAPOLOGIST starts to walk in from the back of the stage. . Did you see all those packages outside? What's what, Ms. Trunchbull? An exception. and the great performers would instantly oblige with the most spectacular show, just for them. Look, is this gonna take much longer, doctor? Stand back, son! A spotlight searches the theater. %
My mummy says I'm a miracle. Absolute silence. Michael: And always keep your feet inside the line! . MATILDA Oh, er, hello. [He pulls the towel over his head and starts massaging vigorously]. Snickerdoodle, what did you do to your hair? Well, take another! [everyone in the room except Miss Trunchbull and Miss Honey join in]. We're rehearsing. MISS TRUNCHBULL and CHILDREN Not the end of your nose. I have the adoption papers. MATILDA With your stupid books and your stupid reading. google_color_bg="EDC7C2"; And the second part is Chokey! "A contract was signed to perform this feat, and perform this feat you shall! AAAIIGHHH! I like a joke as well as the next fat person! 19. How sweet. [after listing prices of cars bought and sold]. (Bruce!) Then after several seconds, he picks it up and returns to the cake with renewed vigour. Oh, parle Italiano? I have a nice house, a wonderful husband and you are slaving away teaching snot-nosed children their ABCs. DOCTOR Come on! It was the biggest burp I had ever done. [to MATILDA] This is your fault. MR WORMWOOD She exits, not before scratching her behind and wiping her nose. and I shan't be talking to you for the rest of the evening, you horrid little man! [strikes a desktop with her riding crop and all the children instantly face forward] Instead, she's found me. google_ad_host="pub-6693688277674466"; Go on. Narrator: Mustn't let a little thing like "little" stop you. The less you have to sell, the harder you sell it. Oh MR WORMWOOD MISS HONEY hurries to pull the cap from NIGEL's mouth. . Looks like rain. The desks descend into the ground. Matilda, 4 Years: In . It's time you learned the family business. ESCAPOLOGIST [off-stage] This it not your problem. . MRS WORMWOOD . . My daddy says I would be the teacher's pet! I'm sorry, doctor. Sometimes you have to be a little bit naughty!